Feeling F.I.N.E.

Lately I've been putting up with a lot of shit and putting myself through unnecessary things as well.  Between jealousy, depression and outright anger, I've realized a lot about myself.  Firstly, I've realized that I have way too big of a heart and care about way too many people who just don't care about their own self.  Secondly, I've realized I bottle up way too much crap, even though I already pretty much wear my emotions like a vest for all to see.  Call me Sam Kinison because I'm about to yell up a storm in this blog.

I've seen people go in and out of relationships with the wrong people for years now and each time it happens, I want to say "WHY?!"  Sure, if both people were legitimately wanting to fix their problems, go for it, but there are some people who will never change, even if the problem was a snake coming frighteningly close to their balls.  For example, a guy is cheating on a woman and they split up because of it.  Why the hell would you go back to the guy?  There are a few very rare occurrences where that re-forged relationship will work out but it will usually be void of trust from both sides.  Let's not forget the assholes who are controlling assholes.  Those guys need to get shot in the dick.  With controlling usually comes physical abuse and they should not be allowed to procreate.

Seriously though, it just makes me sick.  Everyone says they want the right person but when they see the right person, they are magnetically drawn to the shitty person who knows how to say sorry (even if he doesn't mean it).  What the fuck is with that?  Hell, it's worse when they don't have the right person available because they just get sucked back into that trap simply from loneliness.  It drives me nuts.  No, I don't want to date you but that doesn't mean I don't care about you and think you should go back with that piece of shit!  Are you trying to make me get thrown in jail for protecting your stupid ass?!

And let's not forget about the drama.  When I try to have a conversation with some people, I somehow find myself saying all of the wrong things and opening up the wormhole to some dimension where drama is everywhere.  Anytime I ask "how have you been?" or "how is your day going" with some people, out comes the "it's sucked" or some similar statement to which I open my mouth and say "aw what's wrong?"  WHY?!  Why do I find myself getting sucked into this because that is when my mood is suddenly turned to shit.  From abuse to first world problems, I am getting slowly sucked down to their level when even my first world problems causes me anger.

I remember being totally okay with such little problems but once that drama comes out and sucks me down to that level, I start to lose it.  I remember being okay with the cleaning people at work but not so much anymore!  Now, every time that asshole guy with the vacuum comes by, vacuuming my cubicle while I'm working and he's there for longer than 10 or 20 seconds, I start to feel the veins on my forehead popping out from annoyance.  I sit there thinking to myself "This motherfucker forgets we're trying to hear customers on the phone while we work, doesn't he?!  Hurry the fuck up!"

Now, what I should be thinking is "thank you, kind sir for being polite with your smile and vacuuming my floor so that where I sit at work doesn't look like Swamp Thing sat here months back and left mud and dirt clods everywhere."  I don't think that way, though thanks to this little bit of anger that was planted into my brain thanks to the drama which I allow myself to get subjected to.

What do I think would help with this?  Just a little bit of happiness.  Some positive vibes for once and not the negative.  That sounds a little hippy-sounding but its truth.  Don't you ever notice how much better your day is when it is an average day and everyone is smiling and not complaining about things?  No?  That's because you surround yourself with Negative Nancy's.  Trust me, my friend, I know;  I deal with it daily.  My great mood at work is often ruined the second I get sight of some of my co-workers who are better known for complaining more-so than actually working.  A little bit of positive goes a long way.

What I would love (and this is going to sound cheesy as fuck but fuck you, I don't care) is to have that one person I wake up next to and get a "good morning" kiss, go to work with friends with whom I have epic conversations with (this part is already taken care of Tuesdays through Fridays, at least) and go home to that same person I woke up next to to sit down with and enjoy a moment together, whether that is in silence or entertainment or "extra-curricular."  I'm not picky!  I guarantee you that I wouldn't be any of the assholes I talked about at the beginning of this and I would be too damn happy to let the little bit of drama that I deal with on a daily basis to shatter my good mood so my life would be great!

But for now, I'll accept the fact that I have my friends because at least I have something.  I won't be like some people that I know that decide that the first little thing that doesn't go the way they expected, they are going to go off the grid in an emotional haze that will only make them feel worse for themselves until someone takes notice and gives them a little more attention than normal until they start feeling on top of the world again.  Fuck that shit; that's too much maintenance.  As much as I love my friends (some probably more than I should), I sure as hell don't plan on doing that shit.  That only makes them think that they will get special treatment every time they have a problem.  Here is a better idea.  If you have a problem, come to me and have a discussion and listen carefully.  I am blunt, I am honest and will give you something to think about and might even make you laugh in the process.

That's my take on it though.  There are people out there with it worse than you.  I feel like an asshole (and then get even more angry) every time I let shit get me down and can't pick myself up because I have friends who are facing death every day in the form of illnesses but they don't let things get them down so why should I?

Here is the summary: stop dating fucking assholes, stop spreading drama and stop feeling bad for yourself.

The end.

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Save Teh Bewbies

It's hard for me to not care about people.  I am generally a nice guy and usually when I am a dick, I feel bad about it after.  It's just the nature of things.  I don't know if it's the Irish genetics or being raised by my mother but I have those moments when I don't know how to approach something except to just be a dick and walk away but the "nice guy" comes out and suddenly I feel like turning around and saying sorry.

That hasn't happened much to me lately, though.  In fact, really the only people I have spent time with are people that I care about just a little more than the average person and one person who I care about a little more than that.  I'm not going to name any names here because that's no how I do things here but if you know me, you know whether it's you or not I'm sure.  I enjoy spending time with them any chance I get, even if it hasn't been much.  But here I am going off into some cheesy topic that I didn't plan to talk about.  Maybe I'll save that for another time, but likely not knowing my luck.  At this point, I'm trying my best not to throw in an "lol" which is short for "laugh out loud" which I'm sure most of you know...which is also both A: a nervous laugh for me when talking about certain things or B: I am literally laughing a lot so I'm throwing it in everywhere.  Hey, I'm a generally happy person!

But anyway, this month I did something I think I'd probably never do in real life.  I decided in one of my games that I would make a character's armor Pink for Breast Cancer Awareness.  Most of you that know me know that stupid symbols and trends annoy me.  I remember way back when there were people who wanted everyone to change their profile picture into a cartoon character from your childhood to raise awareness for something and I refused because it was so damn stupid; If we want to raise awareness for something, we need to physically spread word (actual words, written or typed) about the stuff, not change our fucking display pictures to something that has absolutely nothing to do with the problem you are raising awareness for.  To some people, that's just a thing they are seeing other people do but do not know the meaning behind the change and so they do it and there is no reasoning behind it, they are just joining a crowd.

Anyway, this month I did that with my RIFT character.  I did it because I care about some people and would be devastated if they were to not pay attention to their bodies and not catch breast cancer early.  I did it because it don't have the money to spend on some bracelet, t-shirt or whatever the typical Susan G Komen thing is these days.  I didn't do it out of some selfish love for tits (despite the fact that I absolutely love them).  I did it because my female friends and male friends alike are all susceptible to get breast cancer, though it seems despite reports of men being capable of getting it, there are more women getting it, or at least men aren't noticing it and are lucky that something else is killing them first.  All of my friends need to keep an eye on their body and make sure things are developing normally.

It's a shame that a whole month has to be dedicated to Breast Cancer Awareness and that people can't just be actively aware but it's not like that.  We live in blissful ignorance of problems and I just don't blame anyone for doing that.  Nobody wants to live their life thinking about all of the bad things that can kill them.  Regardless of this, check yourself every day because nobody else will do it for you.  You don't just walk up to your best friend, grab their tits and check for cancer; it just doesn't happen!  It is up to you to keep an eye on yourself because the earlier you catch this shit, the greater chances of getting out unscathed and I care about you guys and you could elevate it to "I fucking love you " for at least a few of you (no homo, for those applicable) so don't let me down.

So here is the picture of my character, decked out in his pink armor being a total badass.  I am nerd! Hear me wheeze!

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Shitty Relationship Statuses

There are some people who I see on Facebook that seem to change their relationship status weekly.  I cringe every time I see the change.  It's like they are bragging about it one second and then within a week, they are changing their status and bitching about how shitty they get treated.

It makes me wonder if either they are the reason for it or they just really dig trashy people.

I am not perfect.  My relationships have all been pretty terrible, ending in such shitty ways through no fault of my own.  The shortest relationship I've had was a little less than a year (and tried it two times with that person and never hit that 1-year mark).

One week is something I cannot even fathom.  I don't even think I've ever set my relationship status to being "In a Relationship" that fast either unless I'm rushing to keep the nude-singles bots away from my inbox, but lately I've been the kind to keep my status hidden until I am in a relationship and then unhiding it once I've changed it to avoid a big conversation about how I am in a relationship with someone.  It's never hidden when I am in one out of respect for my partner but I also don't rush shit anymore.

I'd rather become friends before pushing it further now.  Many times, though, that lands me in the friend-zone...and that zone is nigh impossible to escape.

My point is...If you are seriously changing your relationship status every week, you should stop trying for a little while and just live your life.  Its annoying everyone around you and it hurts you and turns you into an asshole.

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Politics Suck

So in the last few days, we have seen the "Government Shutdown."  Many people are frantic over this and think this will affect them in some way major.  The upside is, the majority of the nation will see no affects of this in a very meaningful way, especially if history serves as an example.  Eventually, the big wigs will finally come to some agreement and things will continue business-as-usual.  In the meantime, state-run programs will run their day to day operations and the Military will still be paid.  All of this seems well and good but let's go back to the people frantic about it.  Those are the people that are fun to talk about.

I get a little annoyed when I see posts on social media websites that mistake opinion and poor criticism with fact and constructive criticism.  There are legitimately people out there who hate Obama and blame him for things that legitimately have nothing to do with Obama.  Let's not ignore the fact that I personally do not like Obama.  I don't like his policies, even though some would have great potential if he wasn't so god damned dead-set in the way it has to work and Congress would fucking agree to some of the more reasonable requests without some asshole throwing a fit, but let's give credit where credit is due.  Obama is not without fault but he is not the only one at fault and it is up to us as citizens to police our own Government before they police us.  With great respect to some of my friends, I feel like a good handful of them just should not be posting political discussions on the internet because they just simply suck at formulating a valid argument that can hold much weight.

Earlier today, a very close friend of mine was upset that every time he opens up Facebook, he sees a post from someone that has nothing but nasty things to say about Obama and so he posted something talking about if he sees any more of it, he was going to remove people from his friend's list over it.  At first, I chuckled, thinking "well shit, I know I'm not one of them but that's no reason to treat people as if deleting them from your friends list is the end of that friendship for good."  To some that know me, you know that being on a friends list on Facebook is the last thing I am concerned with.  I have been removed from friends lists, blocked, sent nasty messages from people I don't even know and I am still here, coming out very well in the end with the friends I still have.  The only time I have removed people is when I just don't want to see or hear any of the drama or if I have decided to halt communication with that individual, but never have I used it as a way to end a friendship.

Back to the issue at hand though, I read this post and replied a little but nothing disrespectful but then I saw one guy post and suddenly, the two polar opposite opinions were clashing.  Neither presented a valid argument and that is where I draw the line.  The statement (which is slightly edited to provide context) that pushed me beyond that line was "I don't like [Obama] so I'm gonna blame it on him no matter wat."  Let's just look at this statement again.  He doesn't like someone...so he's going to blame things on him that has nothing to do with him...no matter whose fault it is.  Please, if you have a stance like this, do not post anything politically motivated again.  Ever.  "Kthanxbai," as some people would say.  The problem with statements like this is there is no substance to it.  You provide your stance and what actions you are going to take but you provide no logical reasoning behind it.  If you are looking to open a forum for discussion, or at least contribute to that discussion, at least make your statement constructive and insightful.  You must provide your stance, some facts that led you to take that stance, how you feel it can be fixed and how you will act to fix it.  A better version of this would be "Obama is failing to lead our country in a direction that I feel is suitable.  He is unable to [insert reason here] and I feel that we need to get rid of him.  His policies and lack of action are hurting my family and I wish to see him impeached."  This would have been a far more insightful argument and a solution is provided.

The problem is that most people are incapable of forming a coherent sentence, much less formulate an insightful though.  It is my wish that people who have this problem would just keep their mouth shut.  No matter how much I try to be helpful and try to educate these people on how they go about trying to get their point across, it is a losing battle.  If you wish to be taken seriously, people need to be able to read what you are saying, they need to be able to understand where you are coming from and you need to avoid using childish tactics to get that point across.  Most of us who talk politics are grown adults and as such, you need to be on their level mentally and if you aren't at that point in your life yet then please don't bother; you only give the rest of us who share a similar opinion a bad name.

In this situation, neither side are right or wrong.  They are all opinions.  The people who love Obama are looking at this all with rose-tinted glasses from when they first placed their vote for the man (regrettably, I was one of them who voted for the man) and simply saying "try doing his job with everyone talking shit" is hardly a valid argument.  A man in the White House should have conviction to their views and stick to it.  We the people have a job to keep the man in check and if at any point his views begin to harm the country, we have the right to let him know that either he needs to change or we will need to find someone else.  Consider us the board of directors and him being the CEO.  The CEO can be replaced by the board if what they are doing is not "best for business" in the form of impeachment.  It is my opinion, based on the events of the last few years, that we need a complete re-structuring of our Government, starting with firing the majority of leaders and replacing them with people who care about the people.

Where do you stand?  Do you want real change or do you want the same shit for the rest of your life?  That choice is yours but make sure that you have a good reason for making your choice or it will only harm you.  At this point, I really suppose whether you love or hate Obama, the main thing you can do for yourself is to stay true to your ideals but if you want people to listen to you, please put some thought into what you say when you talk politics.

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Everything is Amazing

Today, I made the mistake of reading comments on a news article.  Yes, I know.  I shouldn't even BOTHER reading comments on any news article or YouTube video.  Every time I read these things, the internet troll in me comes out and I reply.  Of course, my comments speak the truth (or at least my honest opinion) in these situations but still.  I can't stop myself; it's a guilty pleasure.

So, the article I was looking at today was an article regarding the iFruit app (a free app that is to be a companion for GTA5).  The article talked about how people were upset that they can't get the app if they have an Android phone.  The majority of the posts were whiny people who felt like Rockstar Games (the company that makes the game and the app) owed them something.  Some of them were even demanding refunds of the game over this free app.  If you read my first post here, you kind of get a general idea of how I feel regarding people who feel this sort of entitlement.  If you don't know, watch this video of my favorite living comedian to get a general idea of what I am talking about.

For those who didn't catch what I'm referring to, read this closely: "Everything's amazing and nobody's happy."  We have all of these amazing things in the world yet everybody takes it all for granted.  We have cellphones that allow us to communicate through the air without the use of any sort of wires, we have airplanes that let us travel through the skies like a bird and we have things called the internet which allows us to be complete assholes to other people and share our bullshit opinions about things in a manor that is reminiscent of a child throwing a temper tantrum in text form.  Hell, it allows me to share my bullshit opinions just the same and half of you either don't care to read it or you agree with me.

So where do I draw the parallel here between these consumers and this video?  It's simple, actually.  We are given all of these AMAZING things that we enjoy but people cannot be happy with what they are given.  They want more.  Yes, they paid good money on this product (and I won't comment on how "hard earned" their money was because I get the feeling these are mostly kids and their parents bought it for them, or at least their attitude suggests that) but we got what we were promised.  We were promised a groundbreaking, visually stunning, fun to play game.  As a consumer, I am satisfied and happy with what I paid for.

There was no mention of this, iFruit app prior to release and then suddenly, once this game is out, everyone with a smartphone goes out in search of this app only to find that iPhones are the only ones who get it right now while the Android market has to wait.  It is exactly as I said it; they have to wait.  They weren't told they would not be getting it; they were told they would need to wait.  The company came out and said that they do not have any licensing thing with Apple or anything at all.  The only thing they are doing is actually finishing the product.

But nobody likes to wait.  They want this application NOW.  They don't want to wait another second for this thing that they are getting for free and they are willing to pout and kick and scream until they get it. I could go on all day about technical aspects of the Android OS that could quite possibly be what is causing their problems to get this product released but I can save that for my gaming blog.  This is where I rant.  About things.  About people.  I can sum their 'tudes with the picture to the left here.

Yeah, that's what I imagine them looking like; a child with a puffy look on their face screaming "I want it now!"  Look, guys.  There is this thing called "patience."  Patience is a difficult trait to have.  Trust me, I've been in a few situations in the past where I really just did not want to be patient at all; I wanted that next big thing that would blow my mind.  I have griped and moaned about the maintenance that was being performed on my favorite game's servers, a maintenance that was meant to help the game run better and provide me with a better experience; I wanted to play it now!

This is a damn shitty situation we find ourselves in, knowing that such immature behavior is a norm for our society.  It is widely accepted that you are allowed to complain about something as long as you spent money on it, no matter how much.  Forget the quality of the product you got because it could be the most amazing thing since the invention of peanut butter and jelly; it's about getting what you paid for and getting it right now.

It's surprising more people aren't like the criminals that we get to play as in these Grand Theft Auto games with how they treat such simple things.

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